Overcoming Overthinking and Rumination

When you get stuck in a thought-loop, your brain is trying to solve a problem that it can’t. It can’t solve the problem because it’s an uncomfortable feeling, and even if it is anchored in an event, such as an interaction with a family member or work colleague, or another stressor, but thinking about this feeling won’t make it go away.

Your brain will lock onto the feeling and start searching for causation. Then it has to rationalize that causation from a number of angles, thinking “There’s a way out of this maze, and I can find it!” All of the little details come to the fore and the end result is that you suffer.

If you find yourself in one of these bouts of rumination, you need to fall back on a toolkit. Your brain won’t want to let you do this—it’s certain it can overcome the challenge! That’s when you have to outthink your thinking and try these things anyway!

1. Mindfulness

There are several mindfulness techniques you can try to help you stay present and reduce rumination. Meditation is a popular one. You can try apps like Headspace or Calm to guide you through meditation. Deep breathing is another technique that can help you focus on the present moment. Try inhaling for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of seven, and exhaling for a count of eight. Yoga is another practice that combines mindfulness with physical movement. You can even just Google “breathing exercise” and get a simple, calming exercise right in your browser.

2. Challenge the thoughts

This is based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which is hit and miss for neurodivergents. CBT is a type of therapy that helps you identify and change negative thinking patterns. The thoughts you’re having are distortions and you have to reassure yourself that they have no reality in your life. For example, if you're ruminating about a mistake you made, you might be able to reframe your thoughts by reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that you can learn from this experience.

3. Journal

Go ahead and give in to your brain and tell it that you want to help. Get it all down on paper. You can try to break it down into smaller pieces and come up with potential solutions for each piece, in as much detail as you can. Write down your ideas and evaluate each one. Once you have a list of potential solutions, consider how foolish this is. Keep writing what comes to mind, let it flow. When you’ve felt the feeling for long enough in an organized manner, your brain might let go of its grip.

4. Positive self-talk or Mantras

Try to reframe negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough," try to replace that thought with something more positive, like "I'm doing the best I can." You can also try to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Make a list of things you're proud of and read it when you're feeling down. A mantra is a simple, positive phrase that you repeat to yourself over and over. It can be a memorized passage from an inspirational book or speech, or even a phrase in another language that has a positive connotation (the phrase, not the language). You should have a couple of mantras at the ready, if this thought appeals to you.

5. Engage in pleasurable activities

Sounds easy! The idea is to put your work down, put cleaning down, put down all your responsibilities and just say “screw it” today. Think about activities that you enjoy and that bring you pleasure. It could be something as simple as taking a walk, listening to music, or reading a book. Theme parks are good, or being in nature. Knitting, drawing, coloring, playdough—making something can be a good idea. Make time for these activities and try to focus on them fully.

6. Connect with others

Reach out to friends or family members and talk to them about what's on your mind. But be careful here. If you find yourself explaining and explaining what you’re going through, it can be overwhelming to everyone. Instead, tell them what you’re dealing with and then try listening to them or engaging in an activity. I recommend Mario Kart.

7. Physically Exhaust Yourself

Go for a run (if you’re a runner), do intense yoga, an uphill hike, jumping jacks, anything to get your nervous system engaged. Distract it and make endorphins happen.

8. Practice self-care

This has become a cliché, but for good reason. Sometimes, you need to hit the ejection seat and just go to sleep. Some people absolutely love taking a bath. Make sure you’ve had something to eat today, because you’re a different person if you’re hungry, and foul moods can distract you from hunger cues. Any chance you get, try getting into the sun.